Friends Before Lovers
Relationships are sensitive matters that you must always consider with a sense of seriousness. Before you become lovers with anyone, you first have to become friends. Being friends first means that you will set the essential boundaries and rules about what is acceptable between you and what is not permitted. The both of you will also be able to determine what you are comfortable with the other person and what you are not satisfied with. When you have these facts established, you will decide whether you should move on to the next stage of your relationship.
Before you become lovers, being friends first means having a stable foundation to base your continued relationship. The fact that you are friends also means that you will have more in common with each other. The convergence of your interests will be significant in determining whether you are compatible with each other and whether you make the best romantic match.
Whenever you are looking to be in a relationship with someone, do not feel pressured or forced into anything. The good people will linger around for longer, but the people that are baying for your blood and simply out to hurt or destroy you will be there much faster than you would expect. Once they have done their damage and left with the wind, you will be at a loss, and most of the time, you will find yourself blaming yourself for having fallen in love too fast.
No matter the kind of personality you have to deal with, friendships enable you to set your parameters for the potential relationships you are likely to have. When you are friends first, you will determine what you are comfortable with and what you scream from the inside when you feel it near you.
Once you are comfortable with the friendship, you can take things slowly and bit by bit. You will be more familiar and confident in the other person. Starting a relationship in this way also ensures that you can understand each other, and there will be nothing to get in the way of the both of you being honest with each other on some issues such as sex.
You will also be more open about all the issues you face and solve your problems more amicably. This way, your romantic relationship will benefit both of you, and it will be able to last for much longer as opposed to a one-sided relationship where it is only the one side that benefits.
Have I Been Ghosted?
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Ghosting has grown to become a very familiar term in the society. If you are just getting back to the dating world, the term ghosting might be a bit confusing and that’s what we are going to discuss today.
What is Ghosting in the Modern Dating World?
It refers to the act of cutting all sorts of communication with a person you used to be friends or had romantic connections with. If you were seeing someone for a while and everything was going on smoothly, then all of a sudden they stopped responding to your messages. Unfortunately, you may have been ghosted.
Why Do People Ghost?
It is normal to feel sad after someone you cared about ghosts you. And this may send you down a spree of thoughts, trying to think about what you did wrong. However, it really doesn’t have to do with you or your personality. Here are common reasons why people ghost;
• It is their attachment style. Some people instead of craving long-term intimacy, opt for something casual so that they can remain independent. • Online dating is a bit impersonal, therefore people rarely make strong bonds and this makes moving on easier. • They don’t see the relationship working out. • The communication wasn’t very smooth in the beginning. • The person doing the ghosting may be too busy with work or other commitments. • He/she wasn’t into you.
How to Overcome Questionable State of Mind When One is Ghosted?
Ghosting is wrong. And in the mind of the ghostee, one can feel heartbroken and confused. If you have just been ghosted, you need to take a look at the reasons why people ghost. Do you see a pattern? The main reason why a person ghosts you has got everything to do with them and not you. That’s why you should avoid blaming yourself.
Instead, choose self-care. You may feel lonely but remember, there are other people who love and care for you. Hang out with friends, attend parties, set up family dinners, or visit a distant cousin. These are things that will help you overcome the questionable state of mind when one is ghosted. If these thoughts start to interfere with your life, consult a therapist.
